Hey all...As we talked about in class, the move we are going to make next is to do some radical revisions of your narratives. Just to review: I want you to choose one paragraph in the middle of your narrative that you find interesting, engaging, or that you simply like. I want you to use that paragraph as the first paragraph of a "new" narrative. That is, instead of having an introductory paragraph, the paragraph you choose will be your first paragraph.
I want you to resist editing the paragraph to make is sound more like an introduction. It's a bonus if your reader does not understand the whole context. Remember, we are starting your narrative from a different point of departure. You should have ~2 pages of text written for Tuesday's class.
In the meantime, post the paragraph you chose here as a comment to this entry. I look forward to seeing what you chose!
K
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
Well...I bet everyone could guess which one I picked since it's the only one I've ever read in class. What can I say? I like it. :D
A math disability? No shit Sherlock. I don’t have a PHD and I figured that out a long time ago. But the diagnosis did not stop there. I also had autism, Asperger’s syndrome to be exact. Then I thought I was really screwed. What made me feel even worse was that she told me to give up journalism and my dream of ever writing a best selling book, saying it was too difficult for me. The gears in my brain screeched to a halt. What did she say? I thought she was here to help me, not to tear me down. She’s paid to say these things? I could have received the same advice from one of the stoners in my class. I guess I should have been grateful it wasn’t the same perky humanist shit shoved down my throat during anger management. Taken aback, I asked her, “then what do you suggest I do doctor?”
Bah! I can't indent on this thing. It drives me crazy!
That day before I left for Kutztown, I saw a completely different side of myself; I realized that I really did not want to leave New Jersey, or any of my friends. I started to really question my decision to come to Kutztown University. I spent my last night with all of my friends, but I did not realize that I was leaving them until I turned the ignition on in the car and drove home. I felt tears fill my eyes; all the oncoming traffic became a big blur. It didn’t matter though, I was completely dumb, and I dreaded the morning. I knew that I would not be enjoying a car ride like this for a while, so I turned up the volume of the music, rolled down the windows, and watched the landmarks pass by.
Throughout elementary, middle, and high school writing struck a sense of centrality and stability for me. I made sure to provide lasting impressions on all of my English teachers. I would not call it sucking up, rather showing the skills that I have and wanting them to be appreciated. I knew that would be one step into someday going to Kutztown University to become a professional writer. When I got the acceptance letter, everything came together and I knew Kutztown had always been where I wanted to go. It’s not too far away from home that I loose touch with my friends, but far enough to get away from day to day.
There is something I left behind, however, that I can probably never get back. My last time spent at high school was spent being part of a couple. A year and a half I was with Zach, which is a while for high school romances. Before I left for college, our relationship ended. It was my fault, I’ll admit, but it felt like the time was right. I knew I was going to a new place filled with all sorts of new interesting people. Having a boyfriend and a long distance relationship felt like another stress I didn’t want to deal with. Nothing is the same now. I went from talking to someone every day to never speaking to them again. Perhaps that is my fault as well. I pushed him away and out of my life. The obvious awkwardness was too unbearable to handle. As I see other couples, hand and hand, envy takes over me. I cannot help but feel a bit of jealousy, for I used to have that close and exclusive relationship. It is weird being on my own. I had grown so accustom to always having him there. I never felt insecure about myself because I knew I had someone who cared and cherished me. He was my support system when I was down, my comedian when I needed a good laugh, and a sweetheart who could always put a smile across my face. The once strong, loving bond that we shared has now vanished.
Now don't think that they were lenient push-overs, some teachers were but others tried to take action, the key word there is "tried." They could write us up or try to get us in more trouble but it never really worked because we never did anything too serious in the classrooms. The higher authority of the school, Ms. Leonora Bishop, a 200lb frizzball who wore skirts that revealed more than any human should ever be exposed to, tried to run the school with an iron fist, once again I used "tried." From completely bogus rules, such as no excused tardies to school, suspension for cutting class & suspension for cus words, to having 36 cameras throughout the 2 story 200x200yd building of HAHS, she tried to stop ALL wrong and unruly behavior. We had three police officers on duty at all times, one on patrol outside the school walls and two that marched around the halls with stiff knees and their right arms stretched out infront of them. It really was on lock down, but in a small town like Huntingdon and a tiny school like HAHS, it's not very hard to get around rules or consequences, for that matter.
For the past two years I have kept my relationship a secret from my parents. I’m not proud of what I did, but it was a confusing situation. Needless to say I was trapped in this situation seeing no light at the end of the tunnel with every hope of being able to reconcile the situation. Imagine being so deeply in love with someone who truly connects to you as a person and having keep those feelings a secret as if it didn’t mean anything at all. To want nothing more then to have that person walk you to your front door. Total Romeo and Juliet scenario I know, but it was hard. Something that most people have I wanted more than anything. But the unlikely surprise came when my parents decided to give him a chance, because they felt he really showed how much he cared about me.
As we arrived to Kutztown I was scared to meet my roommate and was even more scared just to get out of the car. Everything seemed so overwhelming all of the sudden. Everyone was on the sidewalk all their belongings scattered around them. I thought about how I talked to my roommate on the phone and through e-mails and how she seemed nice, but I was still apprehensive. My sister came with me to get my room key and see my new room. It seemed to take an eternity to walk up the four flights of stairs. I was in Old Main, which wasn’t my first choice because it’s all girls. However, when I found out it was one of the only dorms with air conditioning, my views changed a bit.
The rain pelted the car window as I gazed out at the rolling farm lands and knew i was heading in the right direction. As we drove through the quaint little town, my eyes wide and my heart racing, i knew this was it. I was in love. I wanted to jump out of the car and insist that my dad leave me as i did on move in day. The campus was wet but ideal. The layout was practical and could'nt think of anything better. At last, i was home. I needed something of my own, somthing that i can make what i wanted out of it and no one to interfere.
High school flew by after being accepted to Kutztown. Towards the latter half of my high school career, every event seemed to be abstract. Each event was the “final” something, the final midterms or finals, the final class, the final announcements, or the final gathering of friends. Everything was drawn out and pulled an emotion of some sort. But, I suppose that comes with change. And, now that I am here and am an official college student, I am no longer faced with goodbyes, but rather, beginnings. I am now challenged with new questions and new worries such as, “How do I handle a job, study, and maintain a decent social life all at once?” But, for only being in the third week of school I guess there is no answer. I must focus all my attention on what I can only justify as the right thing to do. As my journey began, the abstract nature of thinking about change and a letter that altered my life had subsided. I now ponder of what is to come and continuation, while my thoughts consider how will I succeed and stand out.
sitting in the back seat of a friends dirty jeep heading to kutztown, my brain activity called thoughts for the last 10 min. were impaired of interests. the rush of boredom taking over me and the fact that i really had to pee were 2 things that were making me uneasy. my eyes dilated and my brain registered nothing but green mush and old style houses for miles., yet no bathroom in sight nor humans at that. i turned away from the one dimension simple world i saw out the tinted car window and took a split glance at my neatly stacked belongings covered in dust and dirt
next to me. it occurred to me that all i owned in a small car. i could have sworn it was more when it was situated in my 4 wall space called a room. at that instance was when the countdown started, on the clock of being on my own.
lissanyi
Yikes, sorry for getting this in so late, completely forgot about this... but heres the paragraph:
Going through the introductory lectures between yesterday and today, I already realize that things are going to be different. I was a nervous wreck the day before college, fearing that my slacker tendencies would follow through into college, and thus doom me to drop out among the others that followed in the same footsteps that I did. My ambition to do all the work that is thrown my way, however, is dramatically higher then it was in High School. I actually find myself eager to be given assignments… eager to show my parents, the world, everyone, that I am capable of applying myself when I am determined to do so.
here we are...
I looked for a spot that suited my fancy, and that particular spot happened to be the next empty one closest to Lytle Hall where this class happens to congregate on Tuesdays and Thursdays. As soon as I stepped out of the car, this indescribable smell overtook me. I immediately thought of football. Yes, it’s because the field next to the parking lot is where I used to play flag football as a young’n. The nostalgia immediately disappeared after I got another burst of pain underneath my skull.
my paragraph.. the one I read earlier in class.
The last 48 hours have been the hardest on my family. My Dad and I have a very close relationship and my departure came as “shell shock”. To be away from my very loving, accepting, and supporting family is a huge challenge. Throughout all of the activities I have endured at Kutztown thus far, the most strenuous has been the starting over process. My life in Boyertown was simple and safe. People knew about my handicap, understood me and my needs, and now I am restarting that process so that the people at KU will know me like the people of Boyertown.
Sorry my comment was late .. computer problems.. gr :)
I also found that KU has helped me to be much more independent, and has given me the space to make my own decisions pertaining to the person I want to be now and also who I would like to become after college. This is my time to forget what my parents are telling me, forget what my high school teachers have said about college and deal with the way I feel and what I think college can do for me. For the past 18 years of my life, I’ve felt somewhat trapped in a little neighborhood where my parents pretty much made majority of my choices for me. No decision I made was drastic seeing as our town was so small and there wasn’t really much to do.
YO YO everyone!!!
It's me brent... I'm not going to disclose the information of where I'm at but I am just letting everyone I'm doing extremely well, I have an extremely high paying construction job and a nice apartment for 500 a month... Once again no one worry and professor Mahoney it sucks we couldnt of gotten to work together I think we would of had a really good time in class... but hey you know... what the hell can I do now?? hahaa I will keep you guys posted... PEACE
Post a Comment